Why Grace is Important in Healing

Why utilize grace in the healing process?

Grace allows us flexibility through compassion in healing. It is a reminder that human beings aren't perfect. Our existence never promised us or expected from us perfection. In giving ourselves grace, or cutting ourselves some slack, we allow space for compassion.

Why doesn't grace come easily to me?

During my own journey, I didn't understand grace at first because no one had given me grace as a child. How should someone know something without ever having it modeled for them? The expectation in childhood was perfection. No mistakes. Mistakes were met with anger or scathing disappointment. Shame flooded me in waves in response to their feelings about my imperfections. Mistakes were seen as nothing but unacceptable. As time goes on and we age into adulthood, this programming from childhood sticks with us. The need for perfection only strengthens. We trick ourselves into thinking that we can mitigate our deep shame by never making another mistake. Of course, this tactic never works.

Incorporating Grace Daily

Here is an easy to follow step-by-step process to incorporate grace and compassion into your healing process:

1. Observe. When you make a mistake, do not allow your bad programming to derail you from your path of healing. Observe that the programming of negative thinking occurs because it has been ingrained and reinforced over many months or years. Recognize it is not 'you' who is thinking the thoughts, but that it is the habituated brain malfunctioning.

2. Acknowledge. As we observe the thoughts and feelings, we are able to acknowledge them and let them go. Acknowledge any feelings that come up as a result of the situation or the thoughts circulating in the mind.

3. Let go. Once you've sufficiently acknowledged the feelings you're having, the last step is to let go. Allow the thoughts to peter out and the feelings to move through you. Do not linger in the feelings too long; just long enough to acknowledge them and move onward.

4. Use a mantra to reinforce grace. Tell yourself, 'I recognize that my brain is attempting to help me by doing what it has always done. I no longer need that kind of help. I now know a better way. I acknowledge that these thoughts are just thoughts and not representative of who I am. It is okay to make mistakes. Mistakes are how we all learn. I extend myself grace in this moment.'

The most important point about incorporating grace is knowing that it takes practice. Think of a flower - it lives in a state of constant graceful being. It never questions or doubts (it can't). A flower practices being. Remind yourself as you're on the journey to be as a flower.

Grace Takes Practice

In order to experience true healing, one must learn to give oneself grace. Understand that you only know what you know. You haven't known anything else until this moment of understanding. Remember that change takes practice and time. Accepting that you will continue to make mistakes as you practice is critical to your success. In the meantime, use accountability and commitment to keep you on your divine path. Don't forget to use your manta as you grow!