What If I Just Commit to Today?

A conversation with my dearest friend (it seems we always have these types of conversations), lead to the question we all subconsciously dread: what if, instead of escaping, distracting, and wasting, we really just commit to all these things we say that make life worth living?

What do I mean? For many of us, we say things like, “I can’t wait until I retire so that I may travel and run for office or learn to paint. It will be so nice.” The question I am posing is, why wait? More specifically, I ask, what are you doing to take the steps to ensure you’ll even make it to that point someday?

Humans have a tendency to assume that just because we feel we deserve something, that it will materialize before our eyes. Society remarks that, “time heals all wounds.” Or it reminds us that, “wisdom comes with age.” Upon further examination, I don’t believe either of those statements to be entirely accurate or true.

The essence of the statements is somewhat based in observational reality, but society presents it as though it is just a thing that ‘happens’ in time. This is where I have beef with society (here, and about a million other places - but that’s for a different day).

Time is not an epic healer. In that case, all who were to grow old would be enlightened with joy and answers. Rarely is this the case. Additionally, with age does not come wisdom; with age comes experience, but if you do nothing with what you have experienced in the realm of self-awareness, wisdom is not inherent to experience. Experience does not translate into anything more than the culmination of things that have happened to a person without self-reflection. These are two of societies biggest lies, and examples of how humans tend to believe the farce that things will just materialize someday down the line.

What is the difference between those who ‘make’ it, and those who do not? Simply, action. What if, instead of overwhelming myself with grand goals and the big picture, I focus on committing to today?

Great, long-lasting marriages are predicated on this notion. Forever is not the commitment. The commitment is every day. As a spouse, you choose to wake up everyday and be committed to this life with this partner, this person you love. The actions you take that day build on the next. Each day’s actions become the foundation of tomorrow. Before you know it, it’s been 5, 10, or 20 years. The commitment is in the moment.

So why haven’t we all just committed to commitment? To taking small, actionable steps each day to get one step closer to our dreams? For some, it’s a fear of failure. A fear of rejection. A fear of being seen. Even, a fear of living.

Fear has no place in my heart anymore. I am committed to banishing fear from my spirit. Fear may reside, temporarily, in my amygdala where it warns off predators and the like, but only for a minute or two during real life-threatening situations. Fear has dictated too many of my choices in this life, too many of my decisions. Fear has kept me chained to the life only other’s have envisioned for me. Fear has kept me interred within a mental mausoleum of my own design. Well, no more.

Today, it ends. I’ve already been doing this work; preparing my soul for its next grand adventure. I’ve begun the process of nourishing myself, physically and mentally. Now, spiritually I’m boarding that train, waiting to depart toward the next fascination of the unknown.

All that must be done when I disembark onto the sidewalk of this new life is to put one foot in front of the other. Commit to the commitment, the promise I have made to my soul. I refuse to be a prisoner to my own creation any longer.

Now, on the train, I wait. I rest in anticipation of what’s to come. I feed myself the nutrients I need not only to survive, but also to thrive. I give myself compassion and soothing in the moments where the ride is bumpy. And I wait in anticipation for the first step off of the platform into the endless, starry night.