PSA For Parents in the School Pick-up Line

Each morning I am one of the many parents across the country who drive their children to school and wait in the dreaded school drop-off line. Since my child is disabled and requires assistance making it safely from the vehicle to the door, personal pickup and drop-off tends to be the safest option for them traveling to school. A para-educator comes directly to our car door, opens it, prompts them to collect their things, helps them out of the vehicle, shuts their door when they forget, and guides them safely along the sidewalk into the building. See, my child doesn’t always understand safety protocols and has a tendency to make very impulsive decisions. Free-wheeling when it comes to safety, this energetic kid with no body awareness and gross motor deficits frequently bounds jubilantly across the parking lot with little regard for anything happening around them. The support of the aid is essential in maintaining their safety, helping to redirect them on the way into a safer, more regulated environment.

‘Why don’t they just ride a bus,’ one might think to themselves. Aside from the effort it would take to master the mechanics of safely traversing wide, deep bus stairs, the sensory environment of a bus is a total nightmare. Kids screaming, fighting, laughing, and talking while the bus raucously bumps along with lights shining in and out of the windows, hitting my child’s eyes at intermittent times like a strobe light, aggravating and overwhelming the senses. Just writing this makes me grateful that I haven’t ridden a school bus in over 15 years. Riding the bus is difficult for me, a grown adult, so I can’t imagine what the sensory overload must be like for my sensory-sensitive child. Aside from the bus environment itself being a major issue, there would be no one in attendance to help my child regulate on this bus ride. If we wait to intervene until after the ordeal, this kid must endure a period of overload and then a potentially long period of re-regulation for no reason. I see it as a counter-productive, emotionally negative experience for some sensitive children to have to endure an onslaught of sensory overload before arriving at school where they immediately must make their way inside to re-regulate before even putting away their coats. One day after my student begins to self-regulate a bit more consistently, I’d like for them to be able to use public transportation. It’s a valuable resource for millions of people. For now, until that skillset is mastered, the school pickup and drop-off is our safest and sanest choice.

Now that I’ve set the scene, it’s time for the actual PSA.

A meme recently circulated stating something to the effect of, ‘If your kid isn’t trained to exit your car like a combat soldier dropping out of a plane, you shouldn’t be in the school drop-off line.’ Many people laughed and joked about the meme, but several parents let loose their frustrations about slow parents and children in the comments section. Comment after comment exhibited rage-filled tirades about parents who ‘baby’ their children, with many of these commentators sitting in judgement of the parents at their own schools in the pickup and drop-off lines who don’t move to their satisfaction. All I could think was: how egotistical.

In what world is an adult’s convenience more valuable than the comfort of a struggling child? The extra thirty seconds it may take to reassure a child by helping them with whatever it is that they need help doing ultimately will not impact your day. At all. Parents who are frustrated in pickup lines, ask yourselves why. Go deeply, really question it. The conclusive answer is a simple one: your ego tells you on some level that your time, your thoughts, and your being are more important than that of others. Well, I’m going to be late because of these drop-off people! Can’t you see that? It’s not my fault! I was here on time but now I’m going to be delayed! It’s outrageous that I have to sit here and wait on someone else! In these thoughts, it’s made apparent that the ego values itself and its needs above all others, bathing itself in entitlement. In reality, you may be a total of two minutes late. Accountability dictates that one admit there’s something they could do to mitigate these issues, such as arriving at the school earlier, but the ego dislikes accountability and prefers blame, ie. blaming the other parents for moving too slowly. The ego is also the drive behind strong, explosive emotions and behaviors such as road rage. In the grand scheme of things, the pickup line isn’t the issue at all - it’s your ego.

In other words, get over yourself.

Finally, an equally important part of the PSA is directed at school administrators. Due to this public outcry of entitlement, school administrators push for an efficient and fast pickup and drop-off strategy. While I admire their efforts, it’s come to my attention that the one aspect of my kids’ school that I loathe is the school drop-off procedure. In their pursuit of efficiency, they’ve lost their compassion. Multiple times the teachers stationed around the drop-off circle vigorously signal for my kids to get out of the car, even after I’ve explained that one of my children requires help from an assigned aid to exit the vehicle. Typically, this leads to an uncomfortable standoff between me and the educator on duty until the aid makes her way to our car in the lineup. Even when I explain and the teachers understand, they become agitated that the flow of traffic has been disrupted, though it likely is only impacted for a matter of seconds. How silly that we allow a matter of a few minutes overall impact our ability as adults to maintain a compassionate, peaceful environment for our students.

In this writer’s humble opinion, efficiency isn’t everything. Kids perform better when they’ve had an opportunity to ease into their day with a strong, positive introduction to the school environment that is warm and inviting, supportive and kind. Academic work is hard. Maintaining focus for long periods is brutal. Being in a school building transitioning through several subjects a day with admittedly little opportunity for play is stressful. Kids deserve a peaceful, relaxing, supported work environment at school, and that begins with the process of getting to school with ease, however they choose to arrive. Our job as the adults is to do everything we can to facilitate that peaceful, supportive environment to help our kids on their paths to success.

Quite simply, adults need to get over themselves. This isn’t a problem with our kids, it’s a problem with us. Get your shit together. Next time you’re in the car pickup line and your blood starts to boil because the line is at a standstill, use the opportunity to check yourself and use the strategies taught to our children to cope. If they can do it, so can you!