I Don’t Wanna Be...

Welcome to 2024: where social media, advertisements, acquaintances, and even friends will be hounding you to change, to find the better you!

But what if I don’t wanna? What I’d I don’t wanna emotionally alchemize, strategize, and transcend trauma? What if I don’t want to lose 20 pounds? What if I don’t want to bust my ass for the sake of busting my ass? What if, this year, I work on loving what and who I already am?

I’ve learned over and over again that without self-love (& subsequently self-care) I can’t “do better”. I’m already the best me I can be with these resources, this knowledge, and this life experience. And I’m already worthy as I am. Loving ourselves is the key to life’s success. It is the ultimate accomplishment. Love is what we are here for.

Because in all the seas of coercion, loving ourselves is an act of freedom, of liberation from conformity for the sake of *enter horrific social concept here*.

In this same vein, I only want to find myself in the presence of people who love me for who I am and accept me as I come. This is, however, distinctly different than behavior.

I am someone who knows how to be a good friend. We all should build up our social skills well enough to accomplish at the very least, public decency. Commitment to appropriate behavior should be a priority for us all regardless of the time of year. Behavior and skills, though, are different than who we are as people.

In short, I won’t expect from anyone else what I don’t provide myself in terms of respect and actions. However, those expectations are clear in the way of boundaries. I saw a Tiktok today about friends and what we should all aspire to be and have regarding friendship and I think it’s spot on:

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8C4EETb/

These expectations are based on mutual respect, behaviors, and actions. What I don’t want are friends that are only halfway in it. What I don’t want are people who drift in and out. What I don’t want is a situation where we don’t keep in touch except when it’s best for one party. I don’t want it, I don’t need it, and this year I’m willing to just call it a day and move on instead of pouring more of myself into trying to “make it work”. I deserve more than “making it work”, and you do too.

This brings me back to the self-love piece. I love myself enough to say, “I deserve more, and if I can’t get it then I’ll move on or I’ll spend more time with myself. Either way, I’m good.” And I’m good because I love myself.

Do I have any plans for 2024? Sure! Do I have any idea how it’s going to pan out? Not a clue. But what I do know is that I’m looking forward to another year in love and enjoying life, approaching everything and everyone from a place of love.

Cheers to the new year!